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Family Traditions
FlyLady recently sent out an email asking if you were starting any new holiday traditions. Here is part 2 of the wonderful responses we received about old and new traditions!
Dear Flylady,
Our family started out as a military family, and are now a law enforement family, needless to say, a Holiday shared entirely together, or with very much money spent, is highly rare indeed! But so what!? We have made a tradition of celebrating our holidays in a very simple, and very adaptable, way.
Our favorite Christmas tradition has become a Christmas Eve dinner of our favorite CrockPot Stew ( Italian Sausage and tri-colored peppers....delicious!) and homemade french bread. We sit around the tree and listen to our favorite Christmas Music. Hubby and I put the kids to bed, and then its our time to just cuddle. We don't spend hours wrapping gifts, or tugging things out of closets, we just enjoy each other. Admitedly, there have been tears from time to time. (Somtimes of frustration even) but this time just seems to be good for our marriage.
Somebody may wonder where the tradition is in this, its in adaptation! I once asked my husband, "didn't we get out of the Marine Corps so we could have a few holidays together?" and he answered, " Maybe the Marine Corps was to prepare us!"
A second holiday tradition we have begun is sending out by e-mail a "Family Newsletter" at New Years, just to those family members who think it hasn't been the holidays if they didn't get a newsletter from everybody they know. We are selective about who recieves it, becuase not everybody actually enjoys mass mailed brag sheets! But for those who expect one, they get one by e-mail, on or about New Years day, this way we can include the most current family picture, (our third 'New" holiday tradition,) which we do Christmas Week, this way we can include our two daughters who come from my first marriage and stay the school year in another state.
So there are our three "new" traditions: Crock-pot dinner ( who would've thought, my mom always served Prime Rib!) New Years News Letter and Christmas Week Family pictures. But again, the real tradition here is being adaptable to whatever comes our way each year.
Sincerely,
flybably L.
Hi
My immediate family of 4 has always been torn between the two "original" families at Christmas time. It usually meant lots and lots of food, sitting in the house all day and running around getting diner ready and most of all: driving long hours since our parent's homes are far apart.
So starting this year, we do things differently. We are only going to my husband's family this Christmas. Everyone brings just enough food to feed their own family, all little bites of this and that. Knowing my mother in law, she will cook far too much anyway, LOL! We will also do the gift-game you told us about last year: only three presents per person and no more than a few dollars each. Next year, we will visit my family and maybe do the same thing.
The other day (as we call it in the Netherlands: second christmasday), we will be at home, just the four of us. We will cook a very sober meal in compensation of the day before, but will enjoy a good long walk in the woods or play games all afternoon and have fun. No more obligations, no more travelling two days in a row. We're really looking forward to it!
Dear Flylady,
This is only my second testimonoal after four years of flying with you and my fellow flybabys. After you started talking about the holidays and the importance of the holiday control journal, I felt the imediate urge to make a LIST. Before i even started my list of everthing that needed to be done I realized that my babies are the ones that need to be the focus of my attention here. Therefor I made a list of anything that I could do with the children that gives all of us the wonderful holiday feeling of peace. So here is my new holiday tradition: We started yesterday (sunday) and decided that it was time to break out the hot chocolate. My DH had built a fire, I made hot chocolate and croissant (frozen, popped in the oven for 10 minutes) with cheese and apples. We set up on the floor around the fire (someday we'll have more furniture) and toasted to the beginning of the holidays. I then read them a favorite book. My otherwise wild DC had that special glow in their eyes that I am going to make sure I will see over and over this holiday season and any to follow.
Thank you for what you have done for me.
Flybaby K.
Dear Flylady,
My dh and I started our marriage much like the other flybaby who wrote you. We lived in a basement suite, my dh was a stay at home dad, I was a beginning teacher with no contract and we had a beautiful baby girl who was 5 months old for her first Christmas. My dh does not have many happy memories of his childhood and I wanted to begin traditions that were just ours and begin making happy memories of our life together. It is ten years later and our Christmas Eve tradition has become an integral part of our family celebration of Christmas each year.
This is what we do: On Christmas eve, we have a candlelight picnic in front of the Christmas tree. We always eat finger foods and appetizers. There are certain recipes that ONLY come out for the meal. We light the candles, turn on the tree lights, play Christmas music and enjoy each others company. There are special Christmas ornaments that never get hung before this night. Some years, I buy a new ornament for this occasion. We hang the ornaments and then we exchange one gift each. We all look forward to this night. My 9 year old dd is already talking about it. Not because she'll get a gift that night but b/c her favourite appetizer - shrimp cocktail - will be served! LOL
This tradition has become very important to us. Firstly, b/c it is OURS. We created it together and it is different from anything either of us did growing up. And, also, b/c it truly is the "calm before the storm". Christmas day with our extended family can be hectic. I cherish the quiet, peaceful time on Christmas eve when we can simply enjoy being together in a way that is uniquely "ours".
Hope this idea helps to spark the other flybaby's imagination. Merry Christmas and a happy holiday season to you and yours!
Fluttering Flybaby in BC
Dear Flybabies,
I have two traditions to share, one from my family and
one from my husband's family.
On Christmas Eve my husband's family would always go
to the late Christmas Eve church service and then have
ham, eggs and toast. Such a simple meal never tasted
better!
My family, when I was a kid, always had steak fondue
cooked in oil with beef Rice-a-Roni, Green Giant Baby
LeSeur peas, and a fancy dessert. It was the only
time all year we would have fondue so it always was
something to look forward to, and was such a leisurely
meal because you each cook one piece of meat at a
time. Lots of time for conversation. This is a
tradition we celebrate still. Now that there are so
many styles of fondue pots on the market, you could
use two pots and have chicken, (maybe parboiled
first?) or shrimp cooked in broth as an along with the
beef.
When in elementary school my 2 ds loved this so much
that they would compose a special menu, with hand
drawn illustrations, to set at each place! Saved each
year!
Merry Christmas!
A Flybaby in Holland, MI
Hi, FlyCrew!!!
We are fortunate enough to live near Washington D.C. so our family tradition for the past three years is to bundle up our two daughters, now 9 and 6, make some hot cocoa in a thermos and head down one night the week before Christmas to see the National Christmas tree and all the surrounding trees decorated from each state. It always ends up being the coldest night of the year, although we never intentionally plan it that way, but we have so much fun we don't care. We always stand across the street from the White House and yell in unison, "Hey, George! Bring us some hot chocolate!!!" Everybody around us laughs, including the security guard, and then we break out our own supply from the thermos. Now, obviously not everyone can make it to D.C. but if you live near your state's capital you can visit the trees on display at your State House. They are usually decorated with ornaments made by school children in the different counties. Celebrate the season with your children by connecting with your state/country/fellow citizens and remember how lucky we all are to be Americans.
A Flybaby in Columbia, MD
My son will be just under 2 years old this Christmas, so I would also like to start special traditions that he will treasure.
~ For the Month of December, we will read him a different Christmas story every night.
I still have a lot of Christmas books from my own youth, and there are still some out there that I can't wait to buy!!
~Another thing that I've always loved doing, is to drive around and look at all the Christmas Lights. I think we will get some Coffee and Hot chocolate and just enjoy a nice car drive listening and singing along to Christmas Carols!
I can't wait to hear everyone else's ideas. I especially like the traditions that keep the family together. Those are the best memory makers!
With Love,
FlyBaby ~ Montreal, QC
Each year we sit 2 chairs in front of our fire place, set up the video equipment and each member of the family is interviewed re: their accomplishments for the year, they sometimes sing, read stories or poems they've written for the occasion, share their plans for the coming year, etc. Usually interviewed by dad but we all ask questions. This is also when they are presented with their ornament for the year that represents something they are doing or have done that year. Fun to look back at each Christmas and see how we have changed.
Happy Holidays!!!
Hi Flylady and Crew!
Someone shared this one with me recently and I can't wait to try it. You know how kids can't wait for Christmas day? We've used advent calendars in the past and gotten overwhelmed trying to find the "perfect" one (for the least amount of money). And they can only be used once. This family had a great idea---use a single taper candle and mark 25 marks on it with a Sharpie! Burn it to the next mark each evening. The kids love candles, and this is a really inexpensive way to make a memory! Dim the lights and make it special. We've done similar things in the past, and they remember the darkness with candlelight more than anything else we have done. No more advent calendars for me!
Flybaby in Arkansas
My husband and I are blending traditions from both our families (we're newlyweds) this year. One tradition that his family has that we're keeping for our home is the Trim-the-Tree party. Each person makes/brings their favorite food to this party and we put on Christmas music, spike the eggnog, and have a grand time trimming the tree. There is no one dictating where each ornament goes, whether you've clumped the icicles, or that the space between the garlands isn't exactly 1 foot all the way around the tree (something that happens in my family). Another tradition we're keeping from my family is the Eve present. This present is usually from a treasured aunt or another special relative. It can also be one that has special meaning to the recipient. Every person is given their Eve present and allowed to open it on Christmas Eve. It's a very special time and because no one is distracted with other gifts, it makes the Eve present even more special. It also helps calm down very impatient children who can't wait to open all their presents.
Flybaby in MD
One of our favorite new traditions was actually an accident. My grandmother moved her traditional Christmas Eve celebration from dinner to lunch when she was no longer able to cook and we needed to eat at a restaurant. It didn't occur to me to plan a Christmas Eve dinner because I never had to before. When we had been home a couple of hours, the children started telling me they were hungry. I looked around the kitchen, and I had lots of Christmas goodies but nothing to cook. I did have the ingredients for Pigs in Blankets and Cheese Dip, so I fixed those and put them out with our Reindeer dishes. We had hot chocolate, pecans, heavy hors d'ouvres, cookies and fudge, and the children were delighted. My 7 year old DD talks about our Christmas Eve buffet all year. She can't wait!
We started a new tradition several years ago when our three boys were young. Each year we have a tree decorating party. The kids get to place all of their ornaments (they get one from us each year that reflect their interests from that year) on the tree, we listen to Christmas music and eat Christmas cookies. Then comes the BEST part - Christmas Tree Camp-out! We bring out the sleeping bags and everyone falls asleep to the sounds of beautiful Christmas music all laying around our newly decorated tree. When I ask the boys each year what their favorite traditions are so we make sure not to miss them, Christmas Tree Camp-out is always one of the first shouted out.
We have LOTS of family traditions because I believe in their power to
communicate to children the importance of family. Here are our
Christmas/Advent traditions:
I've always wanted to do an Advent wreath, but had never managed to
capture a consistent time to focus on the candles. But several years
ago, we started simply lighting them any night we managed to be home at
dinner, one new candle each week of Advent, to signify that our Christmas
celebration is getting ever closer. Also, several years ago I made a
large quilted Advent Calendar that has nativity figures to button on, and
now the kids love putting on a shepherd or wise man or whatever each
morning before school. Then during the 12 days of Christmas from
December 25 to January 5, we enjoy the completed picture.
We always put up outside lights right away with all our neighbors, but on
December 24 we add more decorations outside that are simple--like big red
bows (the plastic type) and ribbons around our tree--to show that Advent
is over and Christmas is beginning. Then we leave our decorations up,
inside and outside, for the entire 12 days of Christmas...and sometimes
the indoor decorations stay up longer, if we're still enjoying them!
On Christmas Eve, when we get home from our early church service that
gave us no time to eat first (plus, I'm the organist and choir director,
which really gives us no time beforehand!) we make beautiful trays of
appetizers and desserts: we always have a tray or two of cookies,
sometimes home-smoked and sliced turkey, cheeses, especially the
jar-cheeses, the little hot dogs, salamis, baby carrots with dip, all
with crackers. Little of it is healthy, and all of it has to be stuff
that can go together FAST, but it's yummy and it's fast and we're hungry
by 9:00 pm! To drink, our kids get "kid wine"--sparkling grape juice,
which I always serve in our crystal stemware. Then when it's all spread
on the coffee table, even though we just heard all this at church, we
read the Christmas story from a Hallmark book with beautiful
illustrations we got the year our daughter was born, and THEN we open
presents, one at a time. Now that the kids are older, they still enjoy
the pictures in the book (a little bit anyway--after all, they are
impatient to finally open presents!) but they also enjoy the opportunity
to be the one who gets to read this year, and I always take a picture of
who is reading to go in our family photo album, so that they see all year
long that our focus at Christmas is on Jesus.
Christmas morning is for stockings from Santa, which allows his gifts and
his meaning to be secondary to our family gifts and to the real meaning.
Then we're off to Christmas Day church and then to other family. All our
family time on Christmas Eve makes that traveling to extended family on
Christmas Day a blessing instead of a burden.
Flybaby in St. Louis
Dear FlyLady,
This is not a new tradition for us. Our children are adults, but still have a particular tradition they talk about and want to do every Christmas.
It was probably about 25 years ago, I was talking on the phone with a friend, who suddenly said something about "Christmas Adam". I, of course, said, "What's Christmas Adam?" She went on to say that one year her son had declared that it was unfair for their to be a "Christmas Eve" and no "Christmas Adam". They decided that in their house, "Christmas Adam" would be on the 23 of December, and that they would have a marathon Christmas cookie baking session to celebrate "Christmas Adam".
Well, I told my family about this, and they decided that they wanted to celebrate "Christmas Adam" in a different way. My husband was, at that time, a UPS man and was seldom home on Dec. 23. So we would all get in the car, one night on the weekend before Christmas, and go out to look all over our city and countryside at the beautiful light displays, manger scenes, and even one living manger scene. The radio would be playing the beautiful music of Christmas, as we oohed and ahhed our way around town. My children have even made it into a verb! They ask every Christmas, "When are we going Adaming?" This year, between Thanksgiving and Christmas, we will visit our son, his wife, and grandson who live on the West Coast. Probably, we will all go Adaming during the time the whole family is there. It will be good to see how the West Coast does "Christmas Adam".
An Ohio FlyBaby
Dear Sweet Flylady & all the Fabulous Crew too,
I loved the idea of sharing our Holiday traditions!! I am in the process of a nasty divorce for the last 19mos. and am keeping my family's holiday traditions ..... and making some new ones for my just turned 6 year old DD and myself in our new home. She is the light of my life and for her and I Christmas is very special, it is also my birthday 12/28. I love this time of year best of all.
1) First we go out and pick our tree from the local Boy Scout troop Tree sale. Once we are home and the tree is up - We have some nice hot cocoa and just sit and marvel at the tree by itself and enjoy the peace and happiness it alone brings.
2) We decorate another day/night so the branches have time to settle and the scent can lift and restore us as it fills the house.
3) New Tradition : ) We are moving into a new little house just this week... and need to establish some new routines and Holiday Traditions just for us as Mother and Daughter... so I have decided to have Tea Parties for my daughter and her friends and their Moms, and dessert only parties for all our other groups of friends and neighbors.
No gifts ...except sweet treats homemade or just brought over.... but they will come and help us decorate our tree!!
For the kids I will serve mini sandwiches first, a healthy fruit platter and then cookies etc. We will also make a holiday craft for their own homes. I am a crafty-Mom and am going back to school to be a Pre-K to 3rd grade Teacher. This is so much fun for the kids and makes them feel like little young ladies all coming for tea to a special table set just for them!!
Holiday time foam art makes a special craft and a special memory too for the kids to hang on their own trees or in their rooms. I also purchase non-denominational Winter-fun items. We all love Snowmen and Snow people even snow pets!!! It is so much fun!!
Baby stepping through Christmas Decorating instead of one all day and/or all-nighter robbing me of all the joy and burning out to fast!!! I cannot wait!!
4) New Tradition : ) I am giving my daughter, now 6 years old, a mini pre-lit tree for her own room amd some small kid-proof ornaments. She will now share that tradition with her cousins from her father's side of the family. I adore all 7 of my neices and nephews from that side and would love to have her share the story of "her little bedroom tree" with them, now ages 16 through 21.
5) We do a family Secret Santa!! First we choose adult names from slips of paper in a bowl, with a $25 or $30 spending limit. Husbands and Wives cannot draw each other. One trusted family member, usually me a true SAHM / SHE, keeps the master list and makes notes for each sister or brother or in-law to add to their Holiday shopping list. If they forget, they can always call. After that we do the kids, if odd numbers of kids exist, "Santa" gets them an extra gift. We do not limit the kids gifts so much in price. It is usually from the respective parents of the giver-child, or their own after school job / babysitting money... and what the traffic will allow.
We have even done this in my parents family, making Christmas Eve more fun. Everyone gets only 1 gift to open, except the kids who receive from all the Aunts and Uncles, etc. of course and we ultimately have more time to just enjoy each other!! It has made a big difference in our budgets as well not just buying something (more Clutter) for each Aunt, Uncle, Cousin etc.
6) New Tradition :) : ) : ) This year I accepted donations for Victims of the Hurricanes Katrina, Wilma etc. for my DD's 6th birthday. I was wonderful to collect all the checks from each of our guests and then drop them off at the American Red Cross Office here in town in one big donation!! I couldn't have managed such an amount all by myself due to the divorce.
I might even do the same for our Holiday Tea Parties / Dessert party. Our hearts go out to those in need at Christmas always ..... but I would really like to make a difference this year. I am even trying to get others in my Communityand my daughter's school to do the same. Giving is contagious and restores the spirit of Love and Good Will to all of us, this time of year.... and year-round. It really made her birthday even more special and will do the same in our new home for Christmas!!
7) We will play Christmas Carols at home only when writing our cards, 5 minimum a day until they are done. Otherwise we get holiday music on the brain between the radio, shopping in the stores and all. I really try to keep it that way until Christmas Eve and Christmas Day of course.
8) I fill the stockings only on Christmas Eve, usually with some hoilday sweets and small ornament and a small toy. We always put the new ornament on the tree Christmas Morning.
9) Their are always presents to the family pets (two dear kitties) from Santa, from the pets to my daughter and from Mrs. Claus to her as well. I even use different wrapping paper, different pens to write the tags with and change my handwriting for the gifts from Santa & Mrs. Claus, to keep the "Santa dream" alive.
10) We make a Special breakfast and open the gifts in our PJ's and just enjoy the moments!! I have tried to take video and photos every year, so I altleast have my robe and slippers on and my hair and face done. I shower at night so I am ready for action Christmas morning!! My DD is a flybaby too, but not dressed to the shoes on Christmas as yet, maybe when she is 10 years old we'll try it. LOL
Thank you Flylady for all that you are, and all that you do. I have had a very rough time this year in my divorce process. Flywashing, all the routines and all the reminders have really helped me get through it all. I have also finally let go of just Crisis Cleaning and not being able to live with, and up to the perfectionism of my ultra clean Mother.
Thank you for teaching me how to FLY and Bless my home and family - MY WAY!!! That has been the greatest gift to me all year!!!
Merry Christmas!!!, Happy Hanukkah!!! and Happy New Year !!! to all, and especially to you and the Entire Fly Crew ; all Spouses & Family too!!!
Peace and Love be yours to spread and share this Holiday Season and always!!!!
Thank you. Thank you Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Finally Flying and Happy New Single Mom in Bergen County, NJ
My family of origin has several fun traditions. One is called "grabbies." We
each buy and wrap a lot of small gifts - nothing over $1! On Christmas Eve,
we sit on the floor in a circle and pile the little goodies in the middle.
One person says "1-2-3-go!" and we each grab a gift. This is best with
several people - at least 5 - and stupid little gag gifts are best. After
several rounds of this, and all gifts have been grabbed, we trade with each
other. We get very silly and have a lot of laughs. Now we have 3 generations
grabbing gifts.
Another thing my mom does is cut out pictures and descriptions of gifts from
catalogs - several for each person. She then puts them in envelopes with
each person's name on them. Each "gift" is something that is meaningful to
that person - they're usually pretty goofy. My mom puts the envelopes in our
stockings and when we pull them out on Christmas we get to read about the
gifts we didn't get! It's very funny and we get a lot of laughs with this
one, too.
At dinner, we start with little "party crackers" at each place setting.
These are party favors that can be purchased at import stores, party stores,
etc. When you pull on the ends, it makes a popping or cracking sound. After
you crack them open, there are silly paper hats to wear, jokes, and a tiny
prize, such as a spinning top. Children of all ages, from 5 to 75, love
these.
Also in my family, we exchange names. We buy special gifts for the children
(grandchildren, nephews, nieces, etc.), but the adults don't give expensive
gifts (who needs more stuff anyway?) The adults give money to a charity of
their choice in honor of the person whose name they have. Each person gives
only what they can afford - no one should go broke over Christmas! Some
wonderful charities have benefited from our tradition - an international
adoption group, a children's hospital, a cancer organization, a wildlife
fund, humane society, etc. This year, instead of exchanging names, we have
decided that we will all give money to an organization that provides funds
and support for hurricane Katrina survivors.
These are wonderful, fun, and inexpensive ways to share Christmas while
creating memories. It is also in keeping with Flylady's philosophy - less
clutter, saving money, and full of love and meaning for family members.
Flybaby Lois from Georgia
This is not a "new" tradition, but something that my husband and I have done each year with our children is to go out about two weeks before Christmas and get our tree from a tree farm. No tree lots for us! We like one farm in particular for many reasons. We get on a hay wagon that is pulled by tractor down a winding lane, past a huge pond and into the grove. Once there, we can spend as much time as we like finding the tree we want. We can cut it down ourselves or one of the farm hands will do it for us. We tag it with our initials and it is put on the tree wagon. We ride up on another wagon. When we get back to the top, they put the tree in a "shaker" to remove all the loose needles, leaves, etc. (the kids love to watch this). When we get home, and the tree is in its stand, we sit down and warm up with some hot chocolate.
Also, every year, each of our children get to choose a new ornament for our tree. I started this when my first child was born. The first year or two, they have my help with their choice, but after that, it's up to them. When they move out of the house as young adults, they will each get their own boxed ornament collections to start their holidays. They won't have to get stuff other family members don't want anymore. They will have beautiful items that hold fond memories and remind them of what their favorite things were at different ages.
Flybaby B in MD
Dear Flylady,
We have a tradition that our family looks forward to every year.
We go to a new little town around our state and eat at a new to us restaurant and see that community's Christmas Lights. We enjoy the time together and the restaurant experience is nice since we do not go out often. My kids birthdays are in December and we usually pick a weekend in between their birthdays. We have ridden on a Christmas train, a restored Carousel a double decker bus, walked through city parks, been in the middle of a thunder snow storm, etc. Even as teenagers they look forward to this and remember years past.
fluttering in oklahoma city
Dear Flylady,
My family actually started this last year, but we want to do it again. We are musical and love all of the Christmas music. On Christmas eve we all piled into one vehicle with guitars, hats and gloves in tow and hit the road. We have four children ranging in age from 24 years to 7 years. We all picked out a family that was shut-in or a close family friend. I think that we went to about seven houses and sang to them. We didn't go in and visit, we just sang and wished them a Merry Christmas and left. We left them with bigs smiles and lots of thank yous. But the best gift of all was to us. Our children all agreed that it was the best gift that WE had!! What more could a family ask for? All it cost was gas money and about 2 hours of our time. It's been 11 months ago and I still have some of them stop me when they see me out and about and tell me how much it meant to them. It seems to be a gift that keeps on giving!
I wanted to share a new twist on an old tradition - because circumstances change, and we need to be flexible. Growing up, decorating our Christmas tree was a big family to-do (and I am the youngest of 5 children Ð so it was a big family)! There was champagne and hors d'oeuvres - it was a veritable celebration! Fifteen years ago however, I found myself as a single mom, living with my DD, age 4 at the time, and the prospect of putting up a Christmas tree was downright depressing. So, I invited a few friends. I made hors d'oeuvres and we popped open a bottle of champagne and played Christmas carols and it was a celebration after all! Last year, although I have been married 10 years now, with another DD (age 9), my girlfriend and I were reminiscing and realized we had gotten together every year for the past 14 years Ð without missing one! A new tradition had been born. This Ôtradition' had gotten me through some dark times, and I am grateful, not only for my family, but my family of friends as well.
Another tradition from my childhood Ð because we've always had (at least) a glass of champagne when decorating the tree, it is tradition to date the cork Ð and hang it on the tree! Now I add the names of the attendees. I have corks that date back to before I was born Ð from my parents trees. Every year as I put the corks on the tree, I read off the date and names and we reminisce about each year (Ôthat was the year the tree fell over' or, Ôit was so muddy that year we had to run the tree through the car wash!'). Of all the gifts we give and receive every year, this gift of Christmas memories is the one I treasure the most.
On a flybabie aside - I have my Holiday Control Journal all together - the menu for my tree trimming party is priinted out and I have a list of ingredients I'll need (so I can keep an eye out for sales). Thank you Fly Lady, for making it easier for me to enjoy the holidays. I am cruising for sure!
PA flybaby
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