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Ask FlyLady!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Abundance of clothes...
Dear FlyLady,
Your system is great and has freed me so many ways in the last 15 months. But I am afraid to declutter my children's clothing. I have two DDs, 1 and 3, and my husband and I hope to have more children. I am afraid to give away the "too small" clothes because I fear my DMIL will one day ask me where all her lovely gifts have gone. I intellectually know that I am likely not to have a third girl and that elastic doesn't last forever. In my heart, I would like the boxes of clothes to be actively blessing someone, but I can't get my body moving.
Flying in New Jersey
Dear Friend,
You answered your own question. Bless someone else with your abundance of clothes. The new baby should have his or her new clothes. Kids don't need much. You are robbing your 1 and 3 year old of space by saving these clothes for a child that is not even conceived yet. Hoarding the clothes will keep you from being blessed, even if you are doing it to keep your Mother-in-law from asking that question. You are assuming that she will do this; quit assuming and bless someone with the clothes. Living in fear is going to keep you from FLYing and blessing others with your abundance! The longer you hold on to them for whatever reason the worse it is going to get. Let go and watch the blessings fill your life!
- FlyLady
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
What we're supposed to do...
Dear FlyLady,
I'm confused about what we're supposed to do on the weekends. I hear "enjoy your family" and "renew your spirit" but then we still get the Hot Spots, 15 Minutes in Your Zone, 5 minute Room Rescue e-mails as well. Do we do these things 7 days out of 7 or do we really get weekends off? Should I be playing catch up on the weekends of things I missed during the week? Help!
Dear Friend,
Do your morning and evening routines! Look at how much time your are talking about: 2 Minute clearing hotspots, 15 minutes in your zone, and 5 minute room rescues. That is just 22 minutes. Add that to a 15 minute routine in the morning and in the afternoon and your house doesn't fall apart as you have fun with your family! Get the family involved!
- FlyLady
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Can't find 27 things...
Dear FlyLady,
I can't always find 27 things to throw out. I do feel that my house is coming along ( my clutter is almost gone) I am not feeling overwhelmed anymore. I do 5 minute room rescues & put out hot spots daily. Is it ok not to be able to come up with 27 items to fling every time you say to go do a 27 boogie fling? Thank you for all your help, Flybaby from California.
Dear Friend,
When I was getting rid of my clutter; I did three 27 Fling Boogies a day! Yes I had a lot of stuff. When Robert and I married 7 years ago; he had a house full of clutter and so did I! Then we put them together and went to estate auctions and bought more. It took me about nine months of flinging and establishing my routines to find our new way of living.
Yes I finally ran out of things to fling; now I only fling when I bring something new into the house. If I get a new pair of shoes; I give away an old pair! I use the 27 Fling Boogie reminders to help me rearrange the things I love and declutter drawers.
- FlyLady
Monday, March 15, 2010
Dealing with perfectionism...
Dear FlyLady,
I can not tell you how much of a difference using your directives have helped me establish some semblance of order in my home. This is no easy task for a complete SHE who is also the mother of two little dds (one is 2-years and the other is 5-mos) and works part-time outside the home (every mother is a working mother -- lol). I'm fairly accomplished professionally having earned my Ph.D. before becoming a parent, however, my greatest challenge has always been consistency and dealing with perfectionism. I've been fluttering since September and I am having a horrible time establishing routines and using my Control Journal on a consistent basis. What wonder words of wisdom can you offer. I find it very difficult to not beat myself up for not having my entire home in order and for not having firmly established routines.
Thanks for your encouragement and infinite wisdom!!
Dear Friend,
You know most of us had it together before the babies were born! Then life happened and we could not keep up with our perfectionism getting in our way so we just threw the baby out with the bath water. We lose a some sleep and we keep pushing ourselves to continue doing things the way we always have done them. You know what they say when something isn't working we continue to do it that way it is a sign of insanity.
There comes a time that we need to just stop and take care of ourselves. If we will do this then the house will come together. You can be a mother to your children if you are dragging around sleep deprived, hungry and dehydrated. Sleep when the babies sleep! Ask for help!
Look at your routines. Are they too long? Usually when someone is having a problem being consistent it is because they have written out the elaborate routines and they become overwhelming. A routine is a just a series of about three habits that are put together to help you start your day. Get up 15 minutes before your babies. Get yourself dressed to SHOES. Fix your hair and face and while you are in the bathroom just swish the toilet and wipe the counters. Pick up after yourself.
Write out a simple before bed routine too. Lay out your clothes, brush your teeth and go to bed at a decent hour! This is probably the most important part of all your routines. Don't stay up late needing to be by yourself. You need your rest first.
I used post-it notes on the bathroom mirror to get me started. Do what you have to in order to remind yourself to take care of you! Do you hear me! If you don't take care of you then who will and who will take care of the babies if you don't take care of you!!
- FlyLady
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